Social Networker Red in the Face

Dear Lisa and Maddie-- A little over a year ago, if you'd had a tape recorder, you could have recorded a conversation I had with a good friend in which I told her that I'd never get on FaceBook--I just didn't see the need for it, and it seemed like a silly thing for an adult to do.

Um.

You could play that recording back to me now and say "muah ha ha ha ha", because I love FaceBook. Yeah, it's silly--but I've reconnected with long-lost cousins, and kept track of faraway nieces, and--I'll admit it--wasted more than a few silly hours.

I have a few questions for you about FaceBook, though.
1. Why do people put things on their status updates that are waaaaaaay too personal?
2. Or just plain boring?


As for my own status updates, for the most part I lean toward observations that I hope others will find amusing or thought-provoking. There've been a few exceptions, but I don't think I've ever typed anything in that little box that I wouldn't say in a room full of people who include casual acquaintances, my employer, my relatives, and people of many varied ages, races, genders, and faiths. In fact, that reflects my list of FaceBook friends.

So...I work hard at making quality statuses. I get annoyed when people react 'wrongly' to them. This includes:

1. Not 'getting' my humor
2. Reacting very seriously to a status that is meant lightly
3. Giving me unsolicited advice
4. Not 'getting' my humor
5. Going all faithy-faithy on me (faith is good...faith is fine...I love faith)
6. Mentioning inappropriate items (as if talking just among girlfriends). My brother reads my statuses!
7. Not 'getting' my humor

In short, I only want quality stuff on my wall. I feel as if my wall reflects ME, and I only want pretty things on there that make me happy.

Any words of wisdom for me?
~In a Funk on Facebook (FF)

By the way, I've received advice from you three times now, and I've followed your advice half of one time. That's not working so well for me, so I've decided that I'll do whatever you advise on this oh-so-important matter. Seriously. Whatever you tell me to do, I'll do it.
Gulp.

Well, well, well, FF, the world is my oyster at this moment. First off, I'd like to state that there are whole parts of your letter that I sympathize with.  On the other hand, you are not completely right in the head. You went from zero to 100 with no parachute to slow you down, resulting in a volatile mish-mash of judgmental attitude, selfishness, and egotism/arrogance that could combust at any moment.


Why do people put up statuses that are waaaaaay too personal or boring? All of it is relative, FF. We come from different places, carry different filters, and have different needs. And in case you haven't noticed, there is VERY little public etiquette out there at all—period. What isn't talked about these days? What don't we see? It's a free-for-all. Look at t-shirts, bumper stickers, and billboards. I blame it all on Victoria's inability to keep anything Secret. Have you listened to the language used in public? Have you seen what products are advertised on television.  I wonder if KY Jelly looks exhausting to a kindergartner and exactly how they interpret it.  It's shocking to hear me use those words, isn't it?  How much more shocking is it that five-year-olds are exposed to it?  We used to wrap some aspects of life in brown paper, but not anymore.  If you feel that strongly about it, you could always start a boycott . . . and good luck with that.


But I digress—why would FB reflect anything other than the culture at large?  My bet is that your brother is not shocked by what people write on your wall or in your status updates.

On the topic of being boring, Timmy Boyle has pointed out that not everyone can be funny. A real plus when you're a comedian. You should look at boring as being unpretentious. I've been guilty of setting out to write clever status updates. I enjoy words and can't help myself. I like for them to look and sound just right. But can I deny a skosh of pretense accompanies these mini-masterpieces? No.


So people don't get your humor. Where is your gracious attitude? So they get all faithy-faithy—why? Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because they genuinely care about you. And nothing says you have to take unsolicited advice—unlike this advice which you have given your word to take:).


You need to work on appreciating a wide variety of input from a wide variety of people. Sincere and authentic may be boring, but they can be comforting and REAL. In a sea of sarcasm, look at it as a refreshing break.


What I'd love to tell you is that if you want to be so judgmental, then you should come clean by making yourself the Official FaceBook Thought and Humor Police. I'd have you publicly rate every comment and every wall post. But then you'd be revealing who you are, and I've given my word to protect identities. Hmmmm……..


Okay, here's my advice. For five days, I want you to seek out the MOST boring status updates; copy them, and find something positive to say about them. I want you to note when someone has misunderstood one of your updates or written something on your wall that wasn't pretty enough (I'm wondering how many children you rejected this way). I want you to analyze all of these postings by putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Then send me the report. I'd like five reports—one for each day. I want to see REAL effort. And believe me, I can scrutinize a paper and discern if bona fide effort was made—ask Maddie.

And lastly, I'm going to be praying for you.


And before you get all uppity, I know I've missed your humor, have been very serious when you were being light, have mentioned unmentionables your brother might read, that I've missed your humor, have gone faithy-faithy on you, have given you solicited advice, and have missed your humor. Rather clever of me, wasn't it?


Maddie, btw, called in, and doesn't like my advice. She said she'll be giving you some of her advice next week—which you'll also have to follow because you gave your word to BOTH of us, not to mention ipso facto to the readers, also.

Ooh, that's rough.

And those lines are now WIDE open for abounding advice!





Additional Note From Lisa--written when the caffeine had finally wore off:

What I should have said is that I hope people can forgive me when I go all pretentious on a status update or my humor induces me to say something inappropriate, or I go rogue on a blog, because I am more than happy to forgive the boring posts written by my neighbors.   We can scratch each other to bits, or we can take a lighter approach to one another.  I know FF was being tongue in cheek--and I flew with it. 

See what happens when Maddie's not here to supervise.