Dear Mik Chiks,
I have a coNUNdrum, but if you are not a cat person, you may not be sympathetic to my dilemma.
Ten years ago, I adopted a very young male kitten, who had been abandoned in the bushes. Our only child-cat was not thrilled with the new family member, and would pick on him and these conditions eventually lead to the kitten’s behavioral issues.
As he grew older, he would, unprovoked, suddenly bite me. I responded by giving him time out. I never knew when to expect an attack, but did not think anything was seriously wrong. (I wished now that I would have administered corporal punishment)
Now, he is a bully. I live in anxiety of when he might next attack me, but the problem comes because I really love that cat. He is so cute and has an endearing white coloring around his mouth (Are you sure that's not foam?) He is healthy (yes he was neutered) and not showing signs of aging. I don’t want to give him away, but sometimes, I really want him gone from my life.
Other than the obvious response of getting rid of him, is there something I can do to stop his abuse?
Signed, Fearful of Feline Furry
Dear Fearful,
We at Connecting Now like to think of ourselves as a fair lot, but you are correct in your assumption that our loyalties do not tend to fall with felines. Mine in particular don't fall with much of the animal kingdom, period, but cats are surely towards the bottom of the totem pole.
But Lisa and I are realistic about our biases and sensitive to our cat-loving readers, (God help you all), so we've called on Feline Enthusiast, Jan Ackerson for some pro-cat input.
But before we turn over the lines to the happy little frou-frou land of working with abusive pets who want to RIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BODY, I just want to say this, Fearful: Some people love cocaine. I mean, they REALLY love the stuff. Apparently, it's fairly addicting. But seeing as it threatens their very lives, most people find it prudent to abstain.
On that note, here are some excellent suggestions from our In-House Expert, Jan:
The cat needs to be retrained. A few humane possibilities:
1. The spritzer: keep a plant spritzer handy, and when Muffin starts to look as if he's going to be aggressive (or if he actually is aggressive), spritz his pretty little face. Cats dislike this, and will avoid any situation that might cause it again.
2. You can also 'scruff' the cat. If you have a hand free, grasp the back of his neck and hold his face close to the floor for about 3 -5 seconds, while you say "no!" in a firm voice. Again, he'll avoid whatever he did to cause that humiliation.
3. Also try diversion--just as you might with a small child, if you're in a situation where you know that Muffin has been aggressive in the past, dangle a piece of yarn or shine the laser light on the floor.
4. Catch him being good, and give him all sorts of attention (possibly even a treat) then.
1. The spritzer: keep a plant spritzer handy, and when Muffin starts to look as if he's going to be aggressive (or if he actually is aggressive), spritz his pretty little face. Cats dislike this, and will avoid any situation that might cause it again.
2. You can also 'scruff' the cat. If you have a hand free, grasp the back of his neck and hold his face close to the floor for about 3 -5 seconds, while you say "no!" in a firm voice. Again, he'll avoid whatever he did to cause that humiliation.
3. Also try diversion--just as you might with a small child, if you're in a situation where you know that Muffin has been aggressive in the past, dangle a piece of yarn or shine the laser light on the floor.
4. Catch him being good, and give him all sorts of attention (possibly even a treat) then.
*Keep in mind that Muffin is a cat. In all probability, he'll scoff at your attempts to train him, like the Master of the Universe and Beyond that he is.
Thank you, Jan.
Fearful, I (Lisa) would take her advice. I've met her cat, Sophie, and although she's a black-belt scoffer, I and my clothes made it out Shred-less in Michigan.
What we want is for you to be safe and for your cat to show you some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Try Jan's words of wisdom and see how that goes before you make decisions, but remember that your health and peace of mind, and well-being in your home are your number one priority.
And lastly, you said something about getting "rid" of him. Do you mean rid rid, or rid as in giving him to someone else? Think of what you have endured for ten years. Not everyone is as patient, kind, and steadfast as you are. If this cat can't make it in the environment which you so lovingly provided--well, I don't really even want to finish that thought. Maybe a farm or deep dark woods or . . .
Readers, what say Ye????
XOXO
-Maddie and Lisa
Not ever wanting a pet I feared (no matter how cute),if he doesn't respond well to Jan's (all wise about cats) ideas, I think he'd make a good barn cat where he could take out his aggression on mice.
ReplyDeleteHey - knock off the - "give the stray to a farm" advice - do you know how many mangy, lice ridden critters mysteriously appear on our farm? We don't want them. The resident critter don't want them. Drop them off in the city - perhaps city hall or the bus station. Thanks, but no thanks
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well, is what I say when you ask 'where'? How can you even THINK of dropping widdle piddums off someplace strange? For shame. It was that line of thinking that, years ago, had us trapped in our own home by a very large Doberman someone had 'dropped off' at our house in the country. He apparently was scared to death, translated that to aggression, and growling like a demon every time we tried to open a door. Because Widdle piddums already bites people, I'm sure he's feel no compunction at doing so when placed in a stressful situation like finding himself at the edge of the great woods.
ReplyDeleteClearly, you've touched a nerve. Sorry for the rant.
Good advice is offered by the cat lady - those squirt guns are good fun!!
I'm a dedicated cat person, but I'm afraid I wouldn't put up with an abusive pet. In fact, I wouldn't even put up with a cat that was standoffish and unfriendly. That makes me sound mean and heartless, but really... there are so many sweet, lovable lap cats in the world (I have two of them). Why have a mean-spirited one? I would feel the same about any animal. (My in-laws have a nasty attack poodle. I'm not fond of dogs, in general, but this one would try anyone's patience.)
ReplyDeleteJan's advice sounds great, and I would definitely try it. Give Muffin a chance to reform--but if that doesn't work, you might look for alternative housing. Maybe someone out in the country (a specific person, not a dump-and-run situation) who could offer the cat room to roam.
I had quite a few different cats when I was growing up. My parents thought that house pets were unsanitary, so our cats mostly lived outdoors. This resulted in some traumas and tragedies, and I wouldn't recommend it (especially for city-dwellers)... however, these were male cats. I think they appreciated being able to roam.
Our cuddly housecats are females, and I think that makes a difference. The youngest one was very frisky as a kitten (as are all kittens), but now both of them are sedate lap kitties. One of them ("my" kitty) even comes when I call her. So when you do look for a replacement cat, eventually, I'd definitely recommend a female!
Carol S.
I'm just amazed that there are so many cat lovers out there . . .
ReplyDeleteCats are afraid of newspapers which are rolled up...they make noise and if used to swat them, they stop the unwanted behavior. I just hit something close to the cat, and the sound is enough to stop her from doing whatever it is that is baaaad.
ReplyDeleteIf all else fails, there are some no-kill shelters out there. They are usually pretty good about matching animals with people. It's a bummer that he feels like he needs to bite you. I wouldn't put up with it, either.
ReplyDelete