Griselda: It's not about you.

Dear Mik Chiks,

I'm thinking of making a contribution to a charity this year, and notifying some people on my Christmas list that I've done that in lieu of giving gifts. But before I do that, I've got a series of questions.

1. Is that rude?

2. How do people feel about that? Are they generally filled with warm fuzzies, knowing that the world is now a slightly better place?

3. Or are they annoyed, because they'd rather choose their own charities, thank you very much--and hey, that means I didn't get a present!

The charity that I'm thinking of giving to isn't political in nature, and I can't imagine that anyone would be upset to know that it has gotten a contribution...nevertheless, I could make the contribution (in fact, I will), and still get those people a smallish gift. Perhaps slightly smaller than normal.

If your answer makes me laugh, I'll add $20 to my contribution, in honor of the Mik Chiks.

Go Ahead and Use My Name: Griselda

Dear Griselda,

Are we on your Christmas list?—this could affect how we answer this coNUNdrum. 

Here's the thing: When you ask the average self-respecting human (one who likes to think of himself as a generally good person), "Hows about we give to charity instead of giving each other things we don't REALLY need?" That person is not going to have the gumption to ever say, "Listen lady, the only reason I'm still friends with you is because I like to cash in on gift-receiving opportunities, and you always pick out the best smelling bubble bath of anyone I know."

When the truth is, they might be thinking it.  I mean, we might have thought it.  And we at Connecting Now like to let our readers know exactly what is vibing on the inside tracks of the Mik Chik wavelength.

In our defense, had we thought it, our immediate subsequent thoughts would have tempered our initial ugliness.  And the more we think about it for real, the better this idea gets.

But let's not forget that gift giving is still about the other person.  You give people something to bring them joy.  So in an effort not to be rude and only make yourself happy, giving a gift to the charity of their choice is a much better idea.  That involves their desires—even if they do get bummed about not getting a regular non-smallish gift. 

A lot also depends on how you execute this operation. 
 
Give them a heads up!
 

Because if you show up and announce everyone's getting a non-tangible, warm-fuzzy donation, and then sit down to happily unwrap all the materialistic gifts your friends/family purchased for YOU, you'll probably be looked at askew or askance or at the very least funny.

At least that's how we'd look at you.  Maddie because she loves to unwrap ribbon and tissue, and Lisa because she'd be embarrassed that she hadn't thought of it first.

Ultimately though, you could follow all the advice we just gave you, OR just say:  my money = my business.  Back off, yo!

And nobody would necessarily fault you, but again, they may look at you askew.

A rat who gives to charity.

Yeah.

That happens.

But we're sure you are a caring soul.  Not a rat.  So you'll probably find a graceful way to let your people know you love them, and how in the spirit of that love, you'd like to give to those who really need it.  That's just beautiful.

Lastly, it's kosher to give loved ones a brief list of charity ideas.  For instance, if you wanted to give to a charity of our choice:

The Send-Mr. Mik-to-Hawaii-so-He'll-Quit-Bellyaching-About-it-Already Fund

The Tattooing-of-Madeline-Mikitarian's-Epidermis-Society

The Association-for-Lisa's-Further-Accumulation-of-Fancy-Electronics-that-She-Cannot-Understand

Or something of that sort.

Readers, what say you?

XOXO,

Maddie and Lisa