Should Wife Stink to a Single Frangrance?

Dear MikChiks

I guess I need a woman’s perspective about this year's gift giving.

My wife’s love is (borrowing from the Book of Common Prayer), "a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy." In other words, I feel to be a fortunate and blessed man – God knew what He was doing when He joined our hearts.

However, the spiritual grace and discernment (on me) seems to be on some kind of sabbatical when it comes to trying to get the love of my life the perfect Christmas gift. In addition to all the above truly spoken attributes of my wife, she also likes an array of perfumes. Not just one or two or three (I might be able to live with that) but after a count of six, does it really make a difference?

When courting, her lone fragrance was Lacome “Tresor”.  It became “our” fragrance, one that will always remind me of our blossoming love. Since our marriage, I've bought it on special occasions and I sensed she was truly grateful. And then (I’m admitting here it was my mistake, initially) I happened to see an ad on TV about a fragrance called “Beautiful”.

The light bulb went off, how could I go wrong, I thought? The ad made it look new exciting, provocative and above all, it matched my wife perfectly: Beautiful.

Although she seemed to have liked it at first, it sort of turned out to be one of those pivotal moments in time, you know, like the butterfly effect, where the slightest change can affect the flow and outcome of everything else. It was tentative at first, trying this scent and then another and then another….and then another. All they way from Avon to a few from Philosophy and Estee Lauder, etc. (Sigh). The list seems endless.

“I have different moods,” she once answered when I asked what was wrong with “Tresor” and why she needed so many others. I have to pause here a moment and admit there is some truth to that different moods thing. But then, what’s wrong on the "swing days" with simply wearing a blue blouse instead of a white one, or a silver necklace in place of a gold chain? Or red lipstick instead of pink or …well, a mood ring?

Then, last Christmas I got another bright idea. I remembered a fragrance from when I was growing up called “Joy”. It was top of the line, had a good historic track record and really smelled nice – how could I go wrong? Besides, “Joy” at Christmas! Come on, this had to be a sure bet – a done deal – as certain as night follows day…Silly me.

The “Joy” now sits, quite undistinguished among the other various and numerous vials on her dressing table. If nothing else, however, the array of bottles has become a crystal city. Towering, squatty, spherical and pyramidal citadels filled with amber, cinnamon, apricot and gold liquids – a glass menagerie reflecting light, holding promised ambiance within. Do perfumes have expiration dates?

One last thing. Love (at least to me) on a day to day level, is blind. Not a great thing to confess maybe, but everyday life is full of distractions. Although she will always have my heart, admittedly, however, there are days when my wife literally takes my breath away. On my part, on those occasions, it would be enough to simply pause and take in not only her beauty, but also the scent of a singular remembered fragrance that knows no expiration date.

So, what does a guy do? The reason I’m asking, is that she’s started her Christmas list and I’ve noted at the top are two fragrances, one I’ve bought her before and then a completely new one. I’m tempted to let my daughter handle this – after all, she’s partly responsible – always telling Mom how wonderful she smells. . .

Signed,

Perfume Perplexed.

Dear  Perfume Perplexed,

First, let us say that you are a gem. A real and poetic gem. This is probably more thought than any man has ever put into a gift. Ever.

Second, we have a pretty cool idea for what you could do this year.  Take your wife to a perfume lab and create a scent together.

Do a little research on major cities near you and see if you can find a scent shop. Sometimes these places are more geared towards oils and lotions than perfume, but even so it's a fun experience. A good employee at such a place will be able to explain the finer points of base notes and end notes, and help you combine them properly.

In fact, you could even bring in some Tresor, and ask them to help you formulate something reminiscent of it, yet different and fresh--kind of symbolic of the way your love blossomed back in the day, but has grown into something deeper and more beautiful.

If there's nothing in your area, HERE is a place that can match almost any scent—and tweak it to customize it for your wife.  It can even be named after her.  All at a reasonable price.

And when you're done making her perfume together, whisk her out for a night on the town. Try a new restaurant, hit up a museum, and make googly-eyes the whole time.

Lastly it's easy to look at all those bottles and think of it as a waste, but most of us have quirks that defy logic (especially to a man).  She may not wear "Joy" much, but maybe she likes having it there just in case.

The mystery of a woman.  

Isn't that part of her charm?

That's what we remind Aaron and Sam of every morning upon rising!

Readers!

Any ideas for Perplexed?

Much love,

Maddie and Lisa

P.S.--don't forget to send us (miks@shentel.net) the picture of the car you drive for the contest (per yesterday's Carnundrum:)